Welcome to TTN (that's The Tina Network to you), the Web site that asks:  if you wanna be a super hero or cool spy--or even a dastardly villain dude, which do you prefer? The picture above should clue you in on what I wanna be. Imagine--clobbering dudes in a bathing suit or a micro-mini skirt--with no mom around telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself. Hey--look at that cartoon chick, She-Ra.

Christy was a tall, angelic kickass chick cop who could take it as well as
dish it out. She's my answer to the old Julia reruns!

The Black Canary has been kicking butt for decades in a bathing suit and fishnet stockings. Pepper 'Police Woman' Anderson did it with  coolness and beauty. Still, she got into some memorable cat fights, though. She's my answer to those dig-dong, too-seventies Charlie's Angels reruns.   Even think she's worried about any rotten old guys looking up her mini? Hey, she clocks 'em with that sword thing of hers. What about Super Girl, Wonder Woman, and Black Canary? You never see their moms screeching at them about their clothing! Blue Devil's the same. She may not be as hospitable as those other super chicks, but she's REAL. She's the only super chick I know who cusses, spits, scratches her butt, and is nasty to old folks! Well, I don't wanna take things that far if I were she. Hey, if I had her powers, the first thing I would do is to help poor folks. I'll be something like a Robin Hood or something.   The even older 1950s tv series Decoy starred a lady cop who placed herself in all sorts of trouble. Click the poster and check it out. It starred the low-keyed actress Beverly Garland, who starred in one of my many Retro Favorites, Swamp Diamonds (or Swamp Women).

All right, moms and dads of America! I dare you to tell these two

Lariana, another comic book super chick, is a winged sprite (something like a fairy)
who actually flies around in that tiny micro-mini! Can you imagine?? On the right is
another comic book super chick, Saleenia, who carries her hefty package in a 
screaming loud red bathing suit! Talk about nerve! Lucky for Lariana; she's only 
about 5 inches tall and flies too fast for you to see underneath. I'll bet Saleenia's
parents had a lot too say about her appearance! It's gotta be hard to go unnoticed 
with that 5 foot 6, 170-lb frame stuffed in a freaky red leotard!! She must go through
a whole closet of those things in one month!

Premiered: October 14, 1957    Last Aired: July 7, 1958  Show Category: Drama  Beverly Garland played a NYPD undercover police woman in  this syndicated cop series from 1957. Filmed in New York City.  39 episodes. B&W

Jackie Joyner-Kersee, world's greatest female athlete,  is the first 
woman to win consecutive heptathlon championships at the Olympic 
Games. Kersee won the Olympic heptathlon in 1988 and 1992, setting 
a world record of 7,291 points in the 1988 games in Seoul, South
Korea. In 1988 she also won the Olympic long jump, setting an Olympic
record of 24 feet, 3% inches. She was named after Jacqueline Kennedy,
who was then first lady of the United States, at the insistence of her 
grandmother, who predicted that "someday this girl will be the first
lady of something."

Pam Grier became a respected figure for Feminist groups and the black community. Watch it! The chick  she played on the right has a razor in that 'fro!   Pam Grier, as Foxy Brown, back in the day was what every chick wanted to be. I wasn't around back then, but I know my movies. She started her rise to Super-Chickdom as a lowly switchboard operator for American International Pictures; from there, it went to minor roles in such 'legendary' flicks as Beyond theValley of the Dolls in 1970. and one of my favorite prison-chick flicks The Big Doll House. Believe me--she must've been good to survive these two career destroyers!  Still, 30 years after Foxy Brown, & Coffy  she remains an icon for the old Blaxploitation genre--the type of flicks trying to get the African-American movie audience.

Still, Emma Peel of the Avengers remain as my idea mankiller with a tea & crumpets attitude; strange thing--the Diana Rigg version--She wasn't even all that big! She only looked that way when she was kickin' super criminal ass! I still like that double personality of hers. Making the bad guys think you're a pretty, but brainless wuss is a good way to sucker them in for a sound butt-kicking!    Can you imagine this chick whipping the daylights outta some 250-lb. goon?? What I really like about her is that she does NOT discriminate. She'll kick any tail--guy or gal--with barely a strand of hair getting out of place. She's a kind of Blue Devil-Ms. Manners mixture. I know the guys, including my Uncle Jake, think she's the total bomb--looks, shape, walk, outfits and all, but we women who aren't threatened by her see her as tv's first truly liberated woman. Even her partner, John Steed, didn't want to deal with this wildcat.  Being a Brit, she reminds me of another one of my favorite super chicks, Hydra. This chick, who's about the same size as Blue Devil, would get along quite well with Ms. Peel: both are true ladies--but would not hesitate ripping off your head! The thing about Hydra, when she fights, she fights extra dirty! She's a great behind-the-back fighter--but like Emma, you'll never see her get really mad or emotional.

Uma Thurman played a much taller version of our heroine and kicked plenty ass, too! However, at six feet tall, I guess that comes easy for her!  What guy in his right mind would  want to handle a six-foot chick anyway??  So there you have it. My dream super chick. Okay. I'll admit that I'm short and pudgy. So, all I need is a good kickass super gadget and a slick bathing suit. and  an agent to get me on tv. I know it's a longshot, but there are quite a few examples of no-talent chicks emerging as super stars. Look at Paris Hilton, Hilary Clinton, and  even Cleopatra. All they had going were the right con- nections! So, lights, camera, Hollywood, here comes the Masked Blogger!   6 Favorite Retro Flicks  Swamp Women [VHS] (1955) Rough and tumble bayou actioner directed by Roger Corman about an undercover policewoman tagging along with trashy escapees from a woman's prison to track down a fortune in stolen jewels. Some for real nasty chicks in this one! Mike "Touch" Connors, Beverly Garland and Marie Windsor star. AKA: "Swamp Diamonds." 70 min. (Check out this send-up from Mystery Science Theater3000 [MST3K] if you want a quick peek) Category: Action & Adventure Cast: Roger Corman, Beverly Garland, Marie Windsor   Blonde In Bondage [VHS] (1957) In this rare exploitation thriller, an American reporter uncovers sleazy show business managers in Europe keeping showgirls on drugs in order to retain their services. Mark Miller, Anita Thallaug star. Category: Cult    Director: Robert Brandt Cast: Lars Ekborg, Mark Miller, Anita Thallaug The Brain From Planet Arous [VHS] (1958) Earth is the battleground for two dueling aliens in this campy classic of '50s sci-fi. Second-string film legend John Agar is a scientist possessed by the evil alien, able to blow up planes with his stare. The good being, girding for a fight, takes over the body of...Agar's dog. No-holds-barred action!  I know. It's utter garbage-but fun! 71 min. Category: Sci-fi    Director: Nathan Juran Cast: John Agar, Robert Fuller, Joyce Meadows, Ken Terrell The Last Man On Earth [DVD] (1964) Vincent Price stars as the title character, the one human unaffected by a mysterious plague that has turned the world's population into diseased vampires. A frightening horror epic, based on Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend" and remade as "The Omega Man." With Franca Bettoia and Emma Danieli. 87 min. Widescreen; Soundtrack: English Dolby Digital stereo. Plays All Regions. The Last Man on Earth on Google Video Category: Sci-fi    Director: Ubaldo Ragona Cast: Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli, Vincent PriceCandace Hilligoss, Sidney Berger  Candace Hilligoss appearing out of river in which the car had crashed. Is she dead--or what?? Carnival of Souls [DVD] (1962)  Mary Henry was the lone survivor in a car crash. Once she's been treated   for her slight injuries, she returns to her usual mediocre lifestyle. Question:  does she realize she's suppose to be dead with the other people in the ac-  cident? One of filmmaking's more groundbreaking and influential efforts,  paving the way for another Retro Favorite, "Night of the Living Dead."  Check it out on Google Video. Category: Horror    Director: Herk Harvey Cast: Candace Hilligoss, Sidney Berger  Blood And Black Lace [VHS] (1964) Cool Italian thriller from horror expert Mario Bava set in a fashion house where models are being knocked off by a masked maniacr with metallic claws. Stars Cameron Mitchell, Eva Bartok and Thomas  Reiner. 88 min. Category: Mystery    Director: Mario Bava Cast: Eva Bartok, Cameron Mitchell, Thomas Reiner

 
 
 
 

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